The Day That Never Came

Look in my closet in 2010 and you'd think I dressed well. I had designer jeans. Good heels. A blazer I bought myself when I got my first real check. I was the woman who could see something in Vogue on a Monday and have the dupe of it in my closet by Friday.

Only I had a little secret. None of them got worn.

I was both collecting things and saving them. For what? I couldn't tell you. The dinner that hadn't been planned. The trip that hadn't been booked. The version of me who would deserve them.

Spoiler: the day that never came.

I went years like that. My best pieces stayed on the hangers while I wore the safe, boring ones I knew couldn't be wrong. I dressed for nobody. And it bothered me just enough that I outed myself one day in my car, on the phone with my life coach.

"Why won't I let myself wear my own clothes?" I asked her with tears welling up in my eyes.

I remember the silence after I said it. I had earned those pieces. I chose them. I brought them home and put them in a holding pen, waiting for someone to give me permission.

The breakthrough was small that day. I went home, opened the closet, took out the designer jeans and the good heels, and I wore them for no other reason than because I absolutely loved them.

And, I just let myself feel the love of what I loved, on my body.

Most of us are walking around with closets full of maybe-one-day pieces. Don't wait for the day to come. Today, let yourself love what you love and wear it.

PUT ON the piece you've been saving. Wear it to nothing in particular. The errands. The kitchen. Let yourself feel how good it feels.